miercuri, 27 aprilie 2011

These days


I need a storing space where I can place my unnecessary feelings and thoughts. Like those boxes people buy for things they no longer need, but still want to keep. For just in case.
I need a safe place in my mind where I can keep alive all the good memories that tend to be forgotten and all the things that made me who I am.
I need to always keep present this quote by Christopher Morley: “There is only one success - the ability to live your life in your own way."
I need to tell some people to go screw themselves, since no on is willing to help them…
I need to learn how to look people in the eyes and say “no” without feeling guilty or embarrassed.
I need to stop obsessing over cleaning and live more by the rule: a clean house is a sign of a wasted life.

I miss some people I can’t accept they are gone forever and I will probably never find a way to deal with it. The pain of missing them is a wound I can conceal for a while, but I can never heal.
I’m happy I’m on my own for the first time and I’m not scared of it. I didn’t panic, didn’t freak out, didn’t cry (too much) and I’m trying to enjoy this next step.
I’m sorry I tend to keep people away, but when I’m spared of the troubles others go through for being too friendly, I’m more than happy with my personality.
I prefer the comfort of my home to crowded places, full of shallow, annoying people.
I have a new game that keeps my mind busy and happy, neglecting the lack of meaning, for a while.
I’m getting along much better with my mom and much worse with my brother, but all and all I’m happy with myself and with us.
I’m struggling with a weird flu that doesn’t want to go away but I’m enjoying two days of complete silence while other people are answering my phone for me.
I’m happy I used the word “happy” more than I’m used to.

3 comments:

thelastoftheidealists spunea...

I'm also happy for the word "happy" appearing in your post so often :)
Happiness is never a complete feeling, it doesn't encompass each and every aspect of our lives, but we should learn to appreciate the little things that give us moments of happiness.
A hug! >:D<

Monica spunea...

I don't kid myself happiness is a complete feeling, but I'm trying to enjoy it when I feel it :) A hug back >:D<
P.S.: Cum ti-a iesit pizza aceea? ;))

thelastoftheidealists spunea...

Ah, didn't quite get to making it yet :-" Dar e in plan.

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